From A Distance

From a distance it looks like we get along

From a distance we could even be friends

From a distance there’s smiles not tears

From a distance the truth isn’t revealed

From a distance no-one can tell

From a distance it’s all a show

From a distance it’s easier to hide the pain

From a distance I can show up in my day to day life

From a distance the anger isn’t there

From a distance everything is false

Because up close I’m in pain

Up close I’m crying

Up close I’m angry

Up close we’re not friends

Up close I can barely work with you

Up close, as much as I want to, I can’t even look at you

Up close we have a brief history

Up close we have no future

Up close all is revealed

Up close I still don’t understand what happened

Up close is harder

From a distance is easier

From a distance even I think we could still be friends

But from a distance it’s all just one big lie

And none of this ever happened.

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The brave face

The brave face you put on when your heart is breaking, when your insides are in knots, when the tears are welling up in your eyes and you fight with everything you’ve got to not let them fall. The brave face you put on in a train full of strangers, when you’re at work and you don’t want to talk or smile but you have to do your job, when you’re with friends but all you want is to be alone to wallow in your misery. The brave face you put on in front of your housemates after you’ve been crying in your car, after you’ve been standing in front of your mirror asking why, why, why? The brave face you put on in front of her when inside you’re angry, sad and hurt and you just want to cry, yell and hug her all at the same time. The brave face you put on in front of the world when you’re wondering how your life went from wonderful to shit all in the space of a week. The brave face you put on when you know she’s not a bad person but you wonder why did she do this to you and why the fuck can’t she just want to be with you.

The last goodbye

th503CS4UZThe last moment

The last kiss

The last touch

The last conversation

I remember them all

Not knowing they were to be the last

Believing instead that they were the start of something new

That there would be more

More moments, kisses and conversations

And that the last goodbye was really just see ya later

But it wasn’t to be

Over before it really started th583ON09G

Over before the feelings became stronger

But not before they’d had a chance to grow

Grown enough to feel the pain

To feel the hurt, the anger

And the tears falling down my face

It wasn’t over that soon

I miss the conversations already

And I’ll miss the ones we’ll never have

For that was the last goodbye.

The unexpected

It’s the unexpected days, nights and moments that are often the best. The one’s that turn out nothing like you’d imagined, the one’s that start off in one direction and veer off into another that end up creating long lasting memories.

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The quiet ones that end wild and crazy with big laughs and even bigger smiles. The late ones that end an hour or two before you have to go to work or catch a plane. The ones with people you’ll probably never see again. The ones that leave you with the knowledge that this world truly is a wonderful, magical, beautiful place and that being alive to be in those moments makes you a very lucky person.

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And the next day, when your money’s been spent, when tired eyes and dark circles and looking back at you in the mirror, when your head just won’t stop pounding, when you’ve spent the last half hour kneeling over a toilet, when you’re at work or on the bus or plane that you almost missed, through the yawns and rough as guts feeling, a smile is trying to break through.

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The smile dissolves the dark cloud hanging over you, allowing you to feel that it was all worth it and leaves you looking forward to the next, unexpected night that comes out of nowhere and leaves you grinning from ear to ear in the days to come.

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How?

How can we fail to see?

How can we fail to see what is right in front of us?

How can we fail to see what is happening?

How can we fail to see the bigger picture?

How can our focus be elsewhere?

How can we not think of the future?

How can we only think of the now?

How can we not see the damage?

How can we not see the tears?

How can we not see the pollution?

How can we not see the hunger?

How can we ignore the fighting?

How can we not see the violence?

How can we not accept the differences?

How can we not see what we’re doing?

How can we not see what we’ve done?

How can we not see the fallen?

How can we not see what’s vanishing?

How can we not learn from the past?

How can we keep repeating our mistakes?

How can lives be so meaningless?

How can we only think of ourselves?

How can we fail to see?

Day trippin’

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IMG_1086It’s the act of going somewhere that I love. I love the journey, airports, flying, the decision, they’re all part of it. Heading somewhere, anywhere, just to feel that wind in my hair again and my spirit soaring above the clouds, feeling the freedom of being away, no matter how long it’s for.

It’s adventure, excitement, travel, movement, the new, the old, the strange, the different, the same, the photography, the exploring and the opportunities. It’s about being renewed when you’ve been feeling stale.

I flew to Sydney today, just for the day. Eleven hours here and then home again, there and back in just over two hours. People seem surprised that’s it’s only for a day, but I’m surprised people don’t do this sort of thing more often. It doesn’t take long, doesn’t have to cost much and you get to be somewhere different for a day. What’s not to like? 😊

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One summer

One summer we’ll do it

One summer we’ll take off

One summer it’ll all be ours

One summer we’ll dive to the depths of the great blue ocean

One summer we’ll climb the highest tree and see for miles around

One summer we’ll eat nothing but fresh fruit and fresh fish

One summer we’ll camp underneath the stars

One summer we’ll build a bonfire on the beach and watch the embers slowly fade away

One summer we’ll walk for hours along the white sand collecting seashells as we go

One summer we’ll take a photo that captures all the weeks that we’re free

One summer we’ll talk, laugh, share and cry tears of joy till our stomach’s hurt

One summer we’ll make memories that will last a lifetime

One summer it’ll happen

One summer, I promise

But not this summer

This summer I’m busy

But one summer we’ll do it

One summer we’ll do it all

One summer.

Strangers from a train

Thanks to a bomb scare, a decision one or more people made to disrupt hundreds of people on their commute home as well as train staff and police, ten people were put together in a situation that has, sadly, become fairly commonplace.

Ten passengers, seven male and three female, complete strangers who just happened to have the same destination, stood together outside an empty station in the cold. Ten strangers decided to share a taxi together, talking and laughing as they waited. Ten strangers who wouldn’t talk to each other on a train shared stories while in a situation they wouldn’t have chosen to be in.

At their destination they all said goodbye and thank you, and then in the quiet darkness of the night they each went their separate away, into their cars to reach homes they should have been in hours before, probably to never see each other again. Their story will be told to ten different family members, friends and work colleagues, until slowly it fades away and it becomes nothing more than a memory for the ten people who came together beside a train.

Time passes

Time passes

Clocks tick

Sunlight filters through the trees

Raindrops glisten on wet grass

Rainbows stretch across the earth

Moments are fleeting

A breath of fresh air

A smile upon a face

Too late to recapture

Too soon to reminisce

The sun soon fades

As the moon takes over

Another day passes

No more moments in time

They’ve now become memories

Chances are gone

Opportunities are lost

Take them now

Before they disappear

Enjoy it all

While you’re still here.